Nothing could have prepared us for the last 18 months. Living through unprecedented times has meant many struggled with feelings, emotions, and purpose due to the upheaval and change of the circumstances they unexpectedly found themselves in
While events proved to be a tipping point for some, with more people than ever seeking support, for others it had a positive impact as they thrived in their new way of life.
As humans, we deal with things differently. While some ploughed themselves into the community spirit and helped those in need, others questioned and reassessed their current life choices and the impact on their future. Perhaps you did both? The likelihood is we all came out of it with questions. But what now?
Looking deep into our existence is not something many do unless faced with serious illness, but the pandemic gave us time to reflect and question what it is which is important to us and whether we are genuinely living the life we want to lead.
It is unlikely that anyone came away completely unchanged in either their lifestyle or their thinking, but if the whole situation has left you feeling a little bit lost, take comfort in knowing you’re not alone.
Maybe you don’t want to go back to your old life? Perhaps you found your passion doing things a different way and this has actually made you reassess your priorities, or made you feel you’ve been working for materialistic things rather than doing what your soul actually enjoys. You might have discovered new loves and interests during lockdown that you want to carry on with but don’t know where they fit into this new post-covid world.
This is where a qualified coach can help you. Values based coaching not only provides clarity in a time of uncertainty, but can guide you to identify and focus on what is important to you. Using proven strategies we can construct a goal-based plan to help you find your unique purpose and start to live the life you desire.
Now is actually a really good time for people to work on their personal development and drop their “Shoulds” For example, ‘This is what I should be doing” or “This is where I should be in life”. It is a good time to let go of everything we think we ‘should’ be and instead think “What do I want to be doing?”, “What really makes my heart sing?”. Because of pre-conditioned ideas of who we think we should be, the expectations of family, work and society, many people understandably walk around with an ongoing internal conflict
I like to use the analogy that we are all born as diamonds, but through life and society we end up covered in dirt and mud, so we try to coat ourselves in nail varnish to make ourselves sparkle once more, when really we need to buff away at that outer cover and find our inner diamond – to be ourself.
Coaching conversations not only unlock feelings, they can help find your confidence and the motivation to go back to your core, let go of those limiting beliefs and live your truest life.
Get in touch today to have a coaching conversation all about you, your potential, and your aspirations.
You can contact me in the following ways:
Email – firstname.lastname@example.org
Twitter – https://twitter.com/loulifematters
Linkedin – https://www.linkedin.com/in/louise-startin-coaching-development-resilience-change/
Website – https://www.lifematterscoaching.co.uk
We’re going back to the 90’s….
Often during times of uncertainty we go back to a ‘simpler’ time..we get a little rose tinted in our retrospective and think back to when we (we think) were happier, or more carefree, or able to socialise more freely, or enjoyed our job, had a memorable relationship maybe and so on…..
In uncertain times, it’s useful to have ‘anchors’ around us, routines and habits that keep us ‘on track’; friendships that provide unconditional support, hobbies that allow some ‘me time’ or specific pieces of music that just fill you with past emotions and feelings. One band’s music that does that for me is U2 who I saw in Paris on the ‘LoveTown’ tour in 1990. Their 1991 Album ‘Actung Baby’ included the song One, with lyrics hinting at the end of something, a change of routine, shifting priorities & maybe altering needs of individuals. Sound familiar…?
If your retrospective glance back at simpler times to help you get through these current challenging times isn’t quite doing it for you, try reaching out to a professional who can support you and offer a chance at re-connecting with the inner you, the potential you.
I’ve re-commenced face to face session on Saturday mornings at Sage Therapy Centre in Nottingham, and of course virtual online sessions are also available at flexible times to suit you too.
Take time out to make yourself number #ONE soon & get in touch
Have a great week
With all the talk of a second lockdown and facing the coming winter months with so many factors out of our control, I’ve decided this week that I’m channelling all things related to ‘mindset matters’.
By this I mean: I’m aiming to keep showing up, being consistent in what I’m doing, have faith that I’m on the right track, staying up beat and not getting too caught up in being ‘busy’ with no real progress being made….a tricky balance at the best of times.
As the evenings draw in, I’m also trying to find time to ‘just be’. This slowing down in the evenings becomes almost an art-form, as I gather blankets around me, light candles and sip a hot chocolate, actively practising Danish hygge https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hygge or the Norweigen version: koselig https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/koselig
After spending the last weekend in the Cotswolds with old school friends enjoying each other’s company in real life with good food and a real fire it’s set me up for a calm, positive, & optimistic week ahead. I’ve also enjoyed reading a recent article https://www.theguardian.com/science/2020/sep/26/dreading-a-dark-winter-lockdown-think-like-a-norwegian by David Robson via The Guardian, which is focussed on how mindset matters for the inhabitants of the most northerly point in Europe as they prepare for the long, dark (sunless) winter ahead. Choosing to adopt a different thought process about the challenges they face for an extended 5 month wintertime, the local population actually thrived and maintained positive wellbeing scores in studies.
So, my aim for the coming weeks is to not only act in looking after myself and taking positive, constructive steps to deal with challenging situations, but to also to think & speak more positively about these situations. Verbalising our positive intentions can be so powerful. That’s why working with a coach is so beneficial – you are expressing your intentions positively, powerfully & out loud.
Get in touch to chat about how we can prepare you for future challenging situations, don’t face them alone, reach out – email@example.com
Which way is right for me right now…?
In all of this talk of ‘slowing down’ and ‘embracing our true selves’ or ‘now having time to achieve those long-held aspirations’…you may feel (as I have) that you could be & should be taking some really crucial potentially life-altering decisions right now.
Maybe some people are and good luck to them. For me (and I suspect others), just making those small everyday decisions to get through the day is enough at the moment. We are faced with decisions such as:
- How much do I enforce the home-schooling routine whilst still juggling my own working responsibilities…?
- As I’m furloughed could I / should I be undertaking some career enhancing online training…?
- How do I maintain relationships with others virtually…?
- What is my role in society now…how can I help others…?
- I’m still earning, I’m healthy, I’m enjoying extra time with family…but is this ‘too good’ to be true…?
We all make decisions in different ways, some taking advice from friends & family; some looking to others for comparison; others undertaking in-depth research; others going with their ‘gut’ – all have their place. In being occupied with the multitude of every-day decision making we can over-look or put off the bigger potentially more crucial decisions as it feels too hard or we ‘haven’t got the time’ or we simply feel over-whelmed with all of our possible options.
As a coach my role is to provide a space where all methods of decision making and all available options can be explored and time can offered for you to go through your own process in finding your answer to your question. We sometimes forget that we are our own experts and we have the answers we need……often it’s just a little nudge from a ‘critical friend’ supporting you to dig to discover (or re-discover) what really matters.
Get in touch to see how we can work together in a few short sessions to help you end your decision paralysis and unlock the answers to your future life – in your career and in your self-development.
Make contact today: firstname.lastname@example.org Or www.lifematterscoaching.co.uk
The art of the self-soothe – remembering to relax & wind down this week:
As Christmas approaches, are you reflecting on the year that has passed? Or even the decade? It’s been quite a turbulent few years in which the world has developed at an incredible pace, especially in technology. We are more connected than ever before, with a multitude of social platforms to choose from. Yet for many of us this can also present overwhelming challenges.
At this time of year, emotions can run high as we rush to complete projects at work, attend various school or social events, plan the ‘perfect’ Christmas celebrations, and present that ‘competent and confident’ persona at all times.
So, amidst the noise, how can you process your place in the world and begin to think about what lies ahead? How do you measure success or satisfaction at work or in relationships? What plans for your future excite you and drive you forward?
Many of us don’t have the luxury of a fjord nearby but there is growing evidence of the benefit of being amongst trees. They’re believed to have a positive impact on our mental wellbeing, and even give off an immune-boosting chemical. Getting outdoors, going for a walk and a having a change of scenery can be a great way to give yourself a mental break and refresh. I often incorporate this into my coaching sessions, as I find it’s a great way to help people relax and shift into a different mindset, often prompting exciting, creative or ambitious ideas that we then work on turning into reality.With a nod to the winter landscape, in the UK we often take inspiration from our Nordic cousins. The Norwegians have a slightly ironic phrase, ‘føling i fjæra’ – which (I’m assured) roughly translates as ‘feeling emotional while staring out to sea (or a fjord)’. Sometimes just being with your emotions can help to reflect on how we’re feeling, what we’ve achieved or what hasn’t gone quite the way we hoped it would. Without that time and space we run the risk of going through the motions, like a hamster on a wheel. But with all the pressures of modern life, this can lead to stress and burnout.
As the decade draws to a close, you may wish to think about new beginnings, or consolidating something you’ve been working on already. How can you build on your achievements as you head into 2020? Maybe you’re thinking of changing direction or facing a new challenge. Whether you’re staring out to sea, walking in the woods or having a cosy moment at home, now is a good time to slow down, step back, reflect on the past and think about the new year.
To find out how Life Matters Coaching can help you find the right balance in your work, your personal life and your business, get in touch – I’d love to hear from you.
This week I happily took part in a ‘press photo call’ celebrating the installation of a community based defibrillator on Mapperley Plains.
Originally the idea of Alan Dawson of the community group ‘Mapperley People’ – the purchase & installation of this potentially life-saving machine was a group effort via individual donations. I wanted to be a part of this initiative as it seemed ‘the right thing to do’, so Life Matters Coaching Ltd donated to boost the coffers.
I didn’t have to think twice about donating: it seemed natural, a great use of technology, and a worthwhile cause for the wider community. In life there are often these ‘no-brainer’ decisions or actions we take, each particular to ourselves, our values and our view on our world. It just seems ‘to fit’.
When we take these actions, be it volunteering at a church group or local Brownies group, or picking up litter on an organised litter drive, or collecting donations for the local Food Bank, we are supporting and playing a part in the society around us – it feels good.
This feel good factor comes from us supporting others and influencing the world around us, even in tiny every-day ways and it’s important, not just to our local community but it benefits our own mental health and satisfaction with our life.
Volunteering or supporting local groups gives us meaning and a connection to our world, which in turn increases our happiness and satisfaction with how we are living out our lives.
If you are looking for ways to increase your own happiness do something to support someone else – it’s a win-win!
1:1 coaching can help you live a more meaningful life and facilitate your own unique ‘happiness recipe’ – get in touch for an friendly chat today