With all the talk of a second lockdown and facing the coming winter months with so many factors out of our control, I’ve decided this week that I’m channelling all things related to ‘mindset matters’.
By this I mean: I’m aiming to keep showing up, being consistent in what I’m doing, have faith that I’m on the right track, staying up beat and not getting too caught up in being ‘busy’ with no real progress being made….a tricky balance at the best of times.
As the evenings draw in, I’m also trying to find time to ‘just be’. This slowing down in the evenings becomes almost an art-form, as I gather blankets around me, light candles and sip a hot chocolate, actively practising Danish hygge https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hygge or the Norweigen version: koselig https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/koselig
After spending the last weekend in the Cotswolds with old school friends enjoying each other’s company in real life with good food and a real fire it’s set me up for a calm, positive, & optimistic week ahead. I’ve also enjoyed reading a recent article https://www.theguardian.com/science/2020/sep/26/dreading-a-dark-winter-lockdown-think-like-a-norwegian by David Robson via The Guardian, which is focussed on how mindset matters for the inhabitants of the most northerly point in Europe as they prepare for the long, dark (sunless) winter ahead. Choosing to adopt a different thought process about the challenges they face for an extended 5 month wintertime, the local population actually thrived and maintained positive wellbeing scores in studies.
So, my aim for the coming weeks is to not only act in looking after myself and taking positive, constructive steps to deal with challenging situations, but to also to think & speak more positively about these situations. Verbalising our positive intentions can be so powerful. That’s why working with a coach is so beneficial – you are expressing your intentions positively, powerfully & out loud.
Get in touch to chat about how we can prepare you for future challenging situations, don’t face them alone, reach out – firstname.lastname@example.org
Which way is right for me right now…?
In all of this talk of ‘slowing down’ and ‘embracing our true selves’ or ‘now having time to achieve those long-held aspirations’…you may feel (as I have) that you could be & should be taking some really crucial potentially life-altering decisions right now.
Maybe some people are and good luck to them. For me (and I suspect others), just making those small everyday decisions to get through the day is enough at the moment. We are faced with decisions such as:
- How much do I enforce the home-schooling routine whilst still juggling my own working responsibilities…?
- As I’m furloughed could I / should I be undertaking some career enhancing online training…?
- How do I maintain relationships with others virtually…?
- What is my role in society now…how can I help others…?
- I’m still earning, I’m healthy, I’m enjoying extra time with family…but is this ‘too good’ to be true…?
We all make decisions in different ways, some taking advice from friends & family; some looking to others for comparison; others undertaking in-depth research; others going with their ‘gut’ – all have their place. In being occupied with the multitude of every-day decision making we can over-look or put off the bigger potentially more crucial decisions as it feels too hard or we ‘haven’t got the time’ or we simply feel over-whelmed with all of our possible options.
As a coach my role is to provide a space where all methods of decision making and all available options can be explored and time can offered for you to go through your own process in finding your answer to your question. We sometimes forget that we are our own experts and we have the answers we need……often it’s just a little nudge from a ‘critical friend’ supporting you to dig to discover (or re-discover) what really matters.
Get in touch to see how we can work together in a few short sessions to help you end your decision paralysis and unlock the answers to your future life – in your career and in your self-development.
Make contact today: email@example.com Or www.lifematterscoaching.co.uk
The art of the self-soothe – remembering to relax & wind down this week:
As Christmas approaches, are you reflecting on the year that has passed? Or even the decade? It’s been quite a turbulent few years in which the world has developed at an incredible pace, especially in technology. We are more connected than ever before, with a multitude of social platforms to choose from. Yet for many of us this can also present overwhelming challenges.
At this time of year, emotions can run high as we rush to complete projects at work, attend various school or social events, plan the ‘perfect’ Christmas celebrations, and present that ‘competent and confident’ persona at all times.
So, amidst the noise, how can you process your place in the world and begin to think about what lies ahead? How do you measure success or satisfaction at work or in relationships? What plans for your future excite you and drive you forward?
Many of us don’t have the luxury of a fjord nearby but there is growing evidence of the benefit of being amongst trees. They’re believed to have a positive impact on our mental wellbeing, and even give off an immune-boosting chemical. Getting outdoors, going for a walk and a having a change of scenery can be a great way to give yourself a mental break and refresh. I often incorporate this into my coaching sessions, as I find it’s a great way to help people relax and shift into a different mindset, often prompting exciting, creative or ambitious ideas that we then work on turning into reality.With a nod to the winter landscape, in the UK we often take inspiration from our Nordic cousins. The Norwegians have a slightly ironic phrase, ‘føling i fjæra’ – which (I’m assured) roughly translates as ‘feeling emotional while staring out to sea (or a fjord)’. Sometimes just being with your emotions can help to reflect on how we’re feeling, what we’ve achieved or what hasn’t gone quite the way we hoped it would. Without that time and space we run the risk of going through the motions, like a hamster on a wheel. But with all the pressures of modern life, this can lead to stress and burnout.
As the decade draws to a close, you may wish to think about new beginnings, or consolidating something you’ve been working on already. How can you build on your achievements as you head into 2020? Maybe you’re thinking of changing direction or facing a new challenge. Whether you’re staring out to sea, walking in the woods or having a cosy moment at home, now is a good time to slow down, step back, reflect on the past and think about the new year.
To find out how Life Matters Coaching can help you find the right balance in your work, your personal life and your business, get in touch – I’d love to hear from you.
As winter approaches, the dark nights find many of us doing our best to hibernate. Whilst we may have to settle for a few extra hours under the duvet, we naturally seek solace indoors at this time of year. Yet without realising, many of us will probably be enjoying some aspects of life-coaching.
Whether it’s settling down with a good book or spending time with friends and family, we have a tendency to find comfort at home during the colder months. Candles and fires are lit and we begin to embrace the simple pleasures in life. As the year draws to a close, we often reminisce with loved ones, friends or colleagues. That’s because talking over events of the past year helps to put it into perspective. We might feel grateful for what we have, or some of us may be adjusting to unexpected challenges.
These long, relaxed conversations can really help us to consider where we are and where we’d like to be. Chatting over a meal or drink is almost like an informal coaching session. Talking through ideas and aspirations can motivate us to make changes and plan for the year ahead.
Experts in enduring long winters, the Danes even have a word for the most enjoyable aspects of the season – Hygge.
Being ‘hyggeligt’ doesn’t involve buying things – quite the opposite, in fact. It’s more of a feeling – the kind we might experience over a meal with family, or a drink with friends. Or even just alone, curled up watching your favourite movie. There’s an almost meditative element to hygge. Most of all it’s about being present in the moment and savouring the experience.
Our Scandinavian friends also gave us the word ‘Yule’, which is still in use today. Many of our favourite festive traditions come from the midwinter festivals of hundreds of years ago. The Christmas tree, wreaths on the door and of course the Yule log.
In the northern hemisphere, winter solstice historically celebrated new beginnings, as the sun of the previous year ebbed away. Nowadays we celebrate the new year in much the same way. We reflect on the year that has passed and imagine what the new year might bring. It seems like the perfect time to nurture ourselves and our relationships. The slower pace of life gives us time to contemplate where we are and, as our ancestors did, think about new beginnings.
Of course, there is also Christmas to think about. With so much pressure to have a magical time, it can often make it difficult to find a peaceful moment to gather your thoughts. If this sounds familiar, why not treat yourself to some one-to-one coaching? We provide the space for you to think, breathe, reflect and think about where you want to be in the year ahead.
A helping hand
As Christmas approaches, we often think about loved ones we may have lost or those less fortunate than ourselves. International Volunteer Day is held in December. It’s a celebration of the hard work and kindness of people who give their time to help others. For the thousands of volunteers in the UK, winter can be an especially busy period.
Many members of our community need extra help and support at this time of year, yet this is often provided by volunteers. Whether it’s doing a shift at the local library to help keep it open or providing companionship to those who are lonely, volunteers are all around us. Their time and effort help to make the world a better place to live in.
Volunteering is a wonderful way to give something back and connect with people. At LifeMatters, we can help you explore your passions and think about how you can use them to support those around you. Whether that’s at work, at home or in your local community. Get in touch to find out how we can help you make positive changes in your life.
Finally, however you’re planning to spend the winter months, we’d like to wish you and your loved ones a peaceful and hyggeligt winter. We look forward to seeing you in 2018.
Has the recent warm spell put you in the holiday mood? Is your mind on distant shores or lazy afternoons in the garden? Are you summer ready?
Magazines are bursting with advice on getting in tip-top shape for summer, but what about the bits of you no one can see? Here at LifeMatters, we believe in taking care of what’s on the inside, strengthening your inner resources and giving your mind a workout. That’s why we’ve come up with our alternative summer survival guide.
Vacation or staycation?
Even if you’re not planning to get away, summer can provide an opportunity to slow down and take time to reflect on where you are and where you want to be. A staycation can be just as rewarding as a far-flung trip, especially if you can find time to get outdoors and re-connect with the world. Boost your well-being by trying some of these activities – they can be great stress-relievers too.
If you are heading off on holiday, a little bit of distance from your day-to-day life can be a great way to get new perspectives and fresh ideas. (Although, family holidays can add a whole new set of distractions into the mix!)
Whatever your plans, at home or away, here are our top tips to inspire you to get summer-ready:
1.Be prepared: Build some resilience into your summer. Develop your emotional inner-core to support you during set-backs and slow times. Be open to new experiences and learn from them, taking them on your journey and beyond.
2.Get packing: What do you need for the journey or task in hand? Gather those essential resources together, building your network and making sure you have all the necessary tools.
3.Sun protection: We all know the importance of slapping on the SPF, but how about protecting ourselves when life isn’t necessarily plain-sailing? Smother on just enough self-belief to prepare you for possible knocks and negativity on your journey.
4.Be your own tour guide: Develop your personal road-map to guide and signpost you along the way, helping you get the most out of your adventure.
5.Relax: Imagine sundowners on the beach…. A moment to pause, reflect and celebrate the amazing things you’ve seen, done or experienced so far. Toast your successes and embrace what’s still to come.
To find out how LifeMatters Coaching can help guide you on your journey, contact us. We’d love to hear from you.
Have a great summer!